Have You Been A Schmoozer?

We share with you the 4 witty and blunt advices that will shape how you interact with others.

Have you ever been in a gathering and noticed someone in his nice, sleek clothes, holding on to a glass of beer, smoothly waltzing in and strike up a conversation. He is a rather smooth talker and yet throughout the whole conversation, you felt that he has a hidden agenda. You couldn’t help feeling a certain level of distrust towards him.

If you did, you have probably met a schmoozer* and at times, we ourselves might have behaved like one too. The honest truth is (1) people don’t like a schmoozer and will tell the next 10 people that are a one. (2) Everyone can detect a schmoozer; they are just too polite to say it out.

* Someone who goes into a conversation in order to gain an advantage or make a social connection.

A survey conducted for 129 people in Singapore and Malaysia shows that 87% of people attached negative terms to a schmoozer like insincere, hypocrite, selfish and would likely not work with them if given a choice.

So how do you shed the image of a schmoozer and go into a social gathering in Asia and genuinely get business contacts?

We share these 4 tips:

>Tips-1: Shine the Spotlight on Others

If you have a hidden agenda, you will most likely try hard to push your point across. Make the other person become the lead talker and be genuinely interested in what he says; you will make yourself a friend.

>Tips-2: Match the Body Language

Professor Robert Winston in his BBC documentary has shown that when two people likes one another; their mind prompts them to mimic each other’s body language to strengthen the bond. NLP has discovered this phenomenon in the 70s and has been teaching it to others.

>Tips-3: Find One Common Interest for another Gathering

You have a conversation with James for 15 minutes and now you know he likes to play golf, like you do. Invite him out for a golfing session and ask him to bring along his friend while you bring yours. This is how genuine friendship starts.

>Tip-4: Don’t Overstay Your Conversation

If you stick to an acquaintance for too long, you tend to talk too much and there are no surprises left to make others curious about you. Leave at the hype of the moment and make sure you have the appointment for the next session.

In Summary:

When you use the 4 tips we share with you, you will put your personal agenda on hold and let your genuine interest in others show.

The author Kevin is a certified NLP Trainer, DISC Practitioner and a Graduate in Mathematics and Education. He has more than 8 years of experience in the field corporate training, team management and interpersonal communication skills. He passion is in observing how people behave in changing environment and test out his concepts in managing others.